This blog will be used for reflections and discussions. Remember that your posts can be read by the whole world. Please engage in civil discourse and maintain proper decorum.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
HQ- HIV/AIDS
How has HIV and the AIDS virus spread so quickly in recent years, and what is its effect of counties impacted by it?
This is a great question because it will present deep analysis on the essence of the virus, not simply a basic overview of it. It is an interesting direction that you chose to take the topic in. This will apply very well to the contemporary world.
I think it is well-thought-out but could be too broad to cover thoroughly in the time and page restraints. You are asking two separate questions: what factors enabled HIV/AIDS' rapid spread, and what its effects are. You should consider focusing only on one question or the other, not on both. Additionally, if you choose the second question, that may even be too broad. Try to narrow the topic even further. For example, maybe focus on the effects of HIV/AIDS on one particular continent, or on one particular type of effect (ie economic effects or political effects).
Also, there are a few minor grammar mistakes. Since your question is a compound sentence, there should be a comma between 'years' and 'and'. Second, it sounds the sentence flow better if the word 'of' was be changed to 'on'. That is not a mistake though (the sentence still makes sense) but just a suggestion. The next error is that you have a plural subject but the verbs and the pronoun are singular. You can either make the subject singular by changing 'HIV and the AIDS virus' to 'the HIV/AIDS virus', or you can make the rest of your sentence agree with the plural subject by changing 'has' to 'have' and 'is its effect' to 'are their effects'.
Other suggestions: "countries impacted by it" is kind of vague. Does that mean any of the countries where there have been any cases of HIV/AIDS, or only the countries that have a severe epidemic? Another useful idea that you could include is why it is global concern. Also, you might want to consider that the virus will have different effects in developing countries than developed countries. Also, you did not include one of the 'themes' in your question (ie imperialism or globalization). Finally, specify whether you are only focusing on contemporary effects, or if you are also covering the development of different historical effects. Maybe you could tie in colonialism/imperialism by examining the effects of HIV/AIDS in previous colonies, and/or what the poor infrastructure and management from imperial rule have done to accelerate the virus' spread.
Overall, though, the question is very thoughtful about the virus and how someone can trace its spread and effects. I'm sorry if this comment took long for you to read, but I am kind of wordy. There is really not very much wrong with your HQ at all; I just tend to write long sentences so it might seem like it.
I think that your question is written well and will allow you to dive in to this topic while still staying within thee 6-8 page limit. You should change the word 'of' to 'on', that would make it flow more. When researching your topic be sure to address some of the main point we have gone over in class (globalization, colonialism, etc.).
This is a very important issue. For the purposes of this project, I think it will be useful to identify a place or region under consideration. Also, make sure to connect the topic to one of our class themes. Finally, it may will be helpful to specify whether you are examining political, social, or economic issues.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a great question because it will present deep analysis on the essence of the virus, not simply a basic overview of it. It is an interesting direction that you chose to take the topic in. This will apply very well to the contemporary world.
ReplyDeleteI think it is well-thought-out but could be too broad to cover thoroughly in the time and page restraints. You are asking two separate questions: what factors enabled HIV/AIDS' rapid spread, and what its effects are. You should consider focusing only on one question or the other, not on both. Additionally, if you choose the second question, that may even be too broad. Try to narrow the topic even further. For example, maybe focus on the effects of HIV/AIDS on one particular continent, or on one particular type of effect (ie economic effects or political effects).
Also, there are a few minor grammar mistakes. Since your question is a compound sentence, there should be a comma between 'years' and 'and'. Second, it sounds the sentence flow better if the word 'of' was be changed to 'on'. That is not a mistake though (the sentence still makes sense) but just a suggestion. The next error is that you have a plural subject but the verbs and the pronoun are singular. You can either make the subject singular by changing 'HIV and the AIDS virus' to 'the HIV/AIDS virus', or you can make the rest of your sentence agree with the plural subject by changing 'has' to 'have' and 'is its effect' to 'are their effects'.
Other suggestions: "countries impacted by it" is kind of vague. Does that mean any of the countries where there have been any cases of HIV/AIDS, or only the countries that have a severe epidemic? Another useful idea that you could include is why it is global concern. Also, you might want to consider that the virus will have different effects in developing countries than developed countries. Also, you did not include one of the 'themes' in your question (ie imperialism or globalization). Finally, specify whether you are only focusing on contemporary effects, or if you are also covering the development of different historical effects. Maybe you could tie in colonialism/imperialism by examining the effects of HIV/AIDS in previous colonies, and/or what the poor infrastructure and management from imperial rule have done to accelerate the virus' spread.
Overall, though, the question is very thoughtful about the virus and how someone can trace its spread and effects. I'm sorry if this comment took long for you to read, but I am kind of wordy. There is really not very much wrong with your HQ at all; I just tend to write long sentences so it might seem like it.
I think that your question is written well and will allow you to dive in to this topic while still staying within thee 6-8 page limit. You should change the word 'of' to 'on', that would make it flow more. When researching your topic be sure to address some of the main point we have gone over in class (globalization, colonialism, etc.).
ReplyDeleteThis is a very important issue. For the purposes of this project, I think it will be useful to identify a place or region under consideration. Also, make sure to connect the topic to one of our class themes. Finally, it may will be helpful to specify whether you are examining political, social, or economic issues.
ReplyDelete