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Thursday, December 4, 2014
Thesis- HIV/AIDS
HIV/AIDS has impacted countless nations across the globe, but specifically in Sub-Saharan Africa where it has had social, economic, and political effects on the countries in this region.
Consider adding a history (When early cases were) at the start and a possible solution to the problem at the end of of the thesis in order to better answer the question. The use of "but" sounds like it has had less impact than in the rest of the world, consider using "and" instead. Also, consider limiting the social, economic, and political effects down to two of the three, if you choose to add a previous case and a possible solution, or else you may not have enough space to go completely in depth on the subject.
This sentence just sounds weird to me. Is there a way you could reword it so that it reads less clunky? I also feel that the number of categories is a bit to broad to go into complete detail, but they can still be done if you're concise in your presentation of the topic.
"Countless nations" is too broad for your thesis statement and is using "nations" colloquially rather than literally. Also, as mentioned by Sean, you need to identify the time period under discussion. Finally, make sure to indicate your recommendation for international action (or inaction).
Consider adding a history (When early cases were) at the start and a possible solution to the problem at the end of of the thesis in order to better answer the question. The use of "but" sounds like it has had less impact than in the rest of the world, consider using "and" instead. Also, consider limiting the social, economic, and political effects down to two of the three, if you choose to add a previous case and a possible solution, or else you may not have enough space to go completely in depth on the subject.
ReplyDeleteThis sentence just sounds weird to me. Is there a way you could reword it so that it reads less clunky? I also feel that the number of categories is a bit to broad to go into complete detail, but they can still be done if you're concise in your presentation of the topic.
ReplyDelete"Countless nations" is too broad for your thesis statement and is using "nations" colloquially rather than literally. Also, as mentioned by Sean, you need to identify the time period under discussion. Finally, make sure to indicate your recommendation for international action (or inaction).
ReplyDelete