Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Thesis - Globalization and Cold War Effects

The Cold War created widespread effects throughout the entire world, encompassing Europe through the Iron Curtain and Asia through Cold War Paradigms; as recent news stories reflect, the conflict revolutionized the lives of people in three ways: first by creating alliances and divergences that persist to this day, second by transforming social, economic, political, and technological norms, and third by accelerating globalization; finally, the best international response to such consequences is to put past animosities behind by engaging in respectful diplomacy that accepts ideological differences and promotes the freedom of choice, thus taking advantage of globalization and empowering individuals with agency.

Edit: The Cold War generated profound international effects, encompassing Europe through the Iron Curtain and Asia through Cold War Paradigms; as recent news stories reflect, the conflict revolutionized the lives of people by creating enduring alliances and divergences, transforming cultural norms, and accelerating globalization; finally, the best international response to such consequences is to put past animosities behind, taking full advantage of globalization.

Edit 2: The Cold War generated profound international effects, encompassing Europe through the Iron Curtain; as recent news stories reflect, the conflict revolutionized the lives of people by creating enduring alliances and divergences, transforming cultural norms, and accelerating globalization; finally, the best international response to such consequences is to put past animosities behind, taking full advantage of globalization.

5 comments:

  1. 1. LONG, but grammar looks fin!
    2. This can be answered in the time and space provided.
    3. I don't think I could add anything to this thesis. Great job!

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  2. Nice paragraph of a sentence, I don't see anything wrong, but make sure there isn't a run-on that I'm missing. This thesis is very broad, you may have to limit the areas you can expand upon in your final essay. This essay fully describes what you want to write about, your arguments should be easily able to support it.

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  3. This is an all-encompassing statement that addresses the issues to be addressed in your essay. However, it is a bit too long and needs to be condensed. For example, for the first section of your sentence you could adjust something like "The widespread effects of the Cold War paradigm continue to shape international relations..."

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  4. Your thesis statement is much improved. You've condensed the words but still address the three main points under consideration. I would just suggest a few slight adjustments to improve flow.

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