This blog will be used for reflections and discussions. Remember that your posts can be read by the whole world. Please engage in civil discourse and maintain proper decorum.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Thesis - Israeli-Palesinian Conflict
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict contains many local and global consequences that affect global relations socially, politically, and economically.
Overall this had the basis of a good thesis but I think you should expand more when you talk about the "local and global consequences". Also to help clarify the second part of your thesis, you could change it to "...That affect the global relations of Israel and Palestine socially, politically, and economically."
The thesis is worded very well and delivers the overall message of the essay very well. However, I would change one of the "global" words to make the sentence have more variety and be more effective.
This sentence is too general and won't serve as a good thesis statement. Be sure to address all three areas under consideration: geo-political & socio-historical background, news/media analysis, and recommendations for international action (or inaction).
Overall this had the basis of a good thesis but I think you should expand more when you talk about the "local and global consequences". Also to help clarify the second part of your thesis, you could change it to "...That affect the global relations of Israel and Palestine socially, politically, and economically."
ReplyDeleteThe thesis is worded very well and delivers the overall message of the essay very well. However, I would change one of the "global" words to make the sentence have more variety and be more effective.
ReplyDeleteThis sentence is too general and won't serve as a good thesis statement. Be sure to address all three areas under consideration: geo-political & socio-historical background, news/media analysis, and recommendations for international action (or inaction).
ReplyDelete